We have an old house. Pretty much everything around it is old, too. We have an old, old fence between us and our newer neighbor (newer in the sense that he hasn't lived there as long as we have lived in our house and newer in that he has a new-ish house in contrast to most of them on our street). Anyway, he's been trying for two years to get us to replace the fence between our houses. He first brought it up to us before we went to Australia and we put him off. Then he started on about it to the property manager when we were still in Australia, and we said we would deal with it when we got back.
About two weeks after we got back, he started in on it. He wanted to put up a metal (as in corrugated iron) fence, which we didn't want. He also wanted us to pay for all the materials and he would do the work. We tried to put him off but he's been such a pain that we finally said, ok let's do it. He keeps trying to get us to buy materials I'm sure have fallen off the back of a truck from his cash-only mates, which I've resisted as I don't really agree with it and I kind of don't trust him to give him cash and expect him to turn up with what we need. Anyway, we've bought the palings for the fence and he's got the rails and the bolts.
A lot of preparatory work has to be done in our yard to enable this to happen. So, the Kiwi and I spent the entire Easter weekend (four days) cutting down trees, digging out old rose bushes and dismantling part of the fence. We got part of it down yesterday and today when we went out to start taking down the rest, the aforementioned pain in the ass neighbor - known to all as Mr. Ride On due to his ride on mower - other people in our town are Mr. Poos (the septic tank guy) and Madame Pavlova (the queen of the town or so she thinks)- comes out to "help" us. Now, the Kiwi and I have a way of working - mostly I do what the Kiwi says, but we are able to read each other and work out how we are going to do something before we do it - we're not so much into the rip shit and bust school of work. However, now that there's a man on the scene (no offense, BK), he immediately takes charge of the entire operation. Now, on the best of days this guy annoys the hell out of me, but today he got to the Kiwi too. We just get so irritated with his constant suggestions for how we do everything. We keep trying to tell him that we are very busy people with jobs that require lots of hours (and in the case of the Kiwi, a different city to work in) and that we have limited capacity to do things on his timetable. He, being retired, has nothing but time to not only do projects but also to meddle in other peoples bidness. And, because we clearly are incapable of doing things ourselves (such a pity, no men folk to be found) he feels it is somehow his male, I grew up in the 40s mentality right, nay, obligation to take over whenever we are outside doing something. Someday he is going to get an earful from me because I got no time for his crap. None. Nada.
So, anyhow, we got half the old fence down today and did a bit more to prepare the area. He's going to pick up the palings tomorrow and then the building will commence. He's already started putting up the rails. I've got stain for the fence as soon as it goes up (again it was his helpful suggestion that I paint the boards before they get put up because he doesn't think I'll do it once the fence is up. Luckily he floated this to the Kiwi and she suggested that I will do it later as I don't have time to do it prior to him putting up the fence - my explanation would have been slightly more colorful). He's also notified the local digger operator (soon to be known as Mr. Digger, I'm sure) that the ladies next door will be calling him to dig out the stumps of the trees we cut down over the weekend. Makes me want to dig the damn things out myself. Suffice it to say that the sooner the freaking fence goes up, the better. Then we won't have any business with the guy.
I don't really know where I was going with this, but the fence (and the Kiwi's departure back to Auckland for three weeks) has made me cranky tonight. I've got the Sunday Night Baseball Game on ESPN on in the other room and that's not working for me either. At least now you know the story of the fence.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
What? We Weren't Included?
I, for one, would like an investigation!
http://www.vfdaily.com/culture/2008/blogopticon/index.html
http://www.vfdaily.com/culture/2008/blogopticon/index.html
Monday, March 9, 2009
Bloody Hell
My faithful readers (well, PGL anyway) know that I have lived down under nearly ten years now, and although I disagree that I have an "accent", I will admit to using a few choice Kiwi (well, generally down under-ish) phrases. Generally I feel that it's a horrible affectation to move here and immediately sound like I just fell out of some bad British TV show (not that Kiwis sound like that). I don't say "cheers" (not even in e-mails) because, well, I just don't think it's necessary to toast people every time they do something for you. I'll only say "cheers" with a drink in my hand (and even then, I often say "skol" instead). Likewise, I don't say "ta" instead of thanks because, frankly, I just don't get why they say that at all. I don't say "no worries" because that immediately makes me think of "Hakuna Matata" from "The Lion King" and EVERYONE says it. I generally lapse into California surfer dude talk depending on my audience ("Duuuude, that's just not gonna work!") although I don't say "Bro" because that's another word that is used quite often. (For a funny video that was apparently made by Australians to mock the NZ accent - yes, there are distinct differences - check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdVHZwI8pcA - apologies for the lack of html - it's not working for some reason).
But the phrase that I do use quite often is "Bloody hell" or its slightly less naughty counterpart "Bloody Nora". I use those in situations where the F Word just isn't appropriate (we won't digress into a discussion about whether using the F Word is ever appropriate, but I would argue that it is). But Bloody Hell/Nora are quite effective in everyday conversation.
It can convey dismay "BLOODY Hell!" or disappointment "Oh, bloody Nora" and even works when you hit your thumb with a hammer "BLOODY F-IN HELL!!!!!" I do also admit to occasionally saying "bugger" although it it just another euphamism for the F Word (when you are particularly tired you refer to yourself as "buggered"). I do try not to sound like Hugh Grant in "Four Weddings and a Funeral", however.
There, words you'll never see on Word of the Day.
But the phrase that I do use quite often is "Bloody hell" or its slightly less naughty counterpart "Bloody Nora". I use those in situations where the F Word just isn't appropriate (we won't digress into a discussion about whether using the F Word is ever appropriate, but I would argue that it is). But Bloody Hell/Nora are quite effective in everyday conversation.
It can convey dismay "BLOODY Hell!" or disappointment "Oh, bloody Nora" and even works when you hit your thumb with a hammer "BLOODY F-IN HELL!!!!!" I do also admit to occasionally saying "bugger" although it it just another euphamism for the F Word (when you are particularly tired you refer to yourself as "buggered"). I do try not to sound like Hugh Grant in "Four Weddings and a Funeral", however.
There, words you'll never see on Word of the Day.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Things I'll Miss From Here
To give some equal time to my home of the last two years, some things I'll miss.
1. The birds. They are spectacular. Parrots and all kinds of strange (well for me) birds. They rock.
2. Not having a car. I know it sounds strange, but there is a certain freedom (financial and otherwise) in not having a car. You never have to worry about breaking down or paying registration or insurance, and you only need someone sober enough to figure out how to get everyone home.
3. The campus. The campus at this University is gorgeous. It sits at the base of a mountain (unfortunately with a big tower on it) which is a mountain sacred to the Ngunnawal people, the Aboriginal people of the Canberra area. There are lots of open spaces on campus and gorgeous trees, a lake, a stream and lots of ducks. I've also seen bunnies and foxes run across campus in the early mornings and evenings.
4. The beauty of Australia. The land itself is really beautiful, sort of in the way the desert is beautiful. Rugged and desolate in places, with unexpected things like a little forest in the middle of nowhere.
5. Kangaroos. I still get excited when I see them. Except when they're dead along the side of the road. I've actually had more than one conversation about what we would do if we hit a kangaroo but didn't kill it. It's a concern. (Also, a tip for the intrepid traveler here - when you rent a car, make sure you get the full insurance coverage. The cheaper coverage does not include coverage if you hit a kangaroo - as though you would do it on purpose.) Also, I'd like to go on record as saying that I have not eaten kangaroo, even though it may be tasty and eco friendly. Remember, people consider them pests here.
If I think of other things, I'll post them too. But that's enough for right now.
1. The birds. They are spectacular. Parrots and all kinds of strange (well for me) birds. They rock.
2. Not having a car. I know it sounds strange, but there is a certain freedom (financial and otherwise) in not having a car. You never have to worry about breaking down or paying registration or insurance, and you only need someone sober enough to figure out how to get everyone home.
3. The campus. The campus at this University is gorgeous. It sits at the base of a mountain (unfortunately with a big tower on it) which is a mountain sacred to the Ngunnawal people, the Aboriginal people of the Canberra area. There are lots of open spaces on campus and gorgeous trees, a lake, a stream and lots of ducks. I've also seen bunnies and foxes run across campus in the early mornings and evenings.
4. The beauty of Australia. The land itself is really beautiful, sort of in the way the desert is beautiful. Rugged and desolate in places, with unexpected things like a little forest in the middle of nowhere.
5. Kangaroos. I still get excited when I see them. Except when they're dead along the side of the road. I've actually had more than one conversation about what we would do if we hit a kangaroo but didn't kill it. It's a concern. (Also, a tip for the intrepid traveler here - when you rent a car, make sure you get the full insurance coverage. The cheaper coverage does not include coverage if you hit a kangaroo - as though you would do it on purpose.) Also, I'd like to go on record as saying that I have not eaten kangaroo, even though it may be tasty and eco friendly. Remember, people consider them pests here.
If I think of other things, I'll post them too. But that's enough for right now.
Things I Missed From Home While I've Been Away
Ok, this one is for PGL, who is bored and snowed in or iced over or whatever.
Things I missed from home (did I say 9 days and a wake up yet?):
1. Mowing the lawns (PGL may recall why lawns is plural) and then sitting in the yard, drinking a beer, admiring the results. The way that the neighbors refer to the patch of grass across the road, which is actually leased by a farmer but he lets the neighbors do what we want with it) as "Basiljaz's cricket pitch" because I tamed it from waist high weeds to a well manicured (well, mostly) lawn. And now I'll have to start over.
2. Chopping wood for the wood burner in winter (except in the dark, holding a flashlight between your knees because you forgot to do it in the morning).
3. Hearing the cows/sheep/horses making their respective noises in the area.
4. The way our neighbor forgets the dog's name (she hears us calling him "Jaz Man" and thinks his name is Jasmine).
5. Fritz's Weiners http://www.fritzswieners.co.nz/products.html. Spicy Bratwurst, baby. I order 30 at a time and keep them in the freezer. They taste especially good at the Showgrounds with a beer.
6. Seeing the snow on the mountains in winter.
7. Walking over to the store for dinner and not having to drive home.
8. Going to Leeston to buy a roast, which the butcher cuts to order, ties up with string and makes suggestions about how to cook it.
9. Spring lambs while they're alive. (You may know them as wrapped in shrinkwrap for $14.99 a pound - but I knew them when they "were this big"! And ALIVE). There are hundreds of them in the area (pretty much everywhere we go) in late winter, early spring and sometimes I stop on the side of the road to watch them. And every time we see them in winter, the Kiwi says "God, they are lambing so much earlier than they used to".
10. Weather reports in winter that include warning about moving stock to lower elevations.
11. No matter how hot it may get during the day, it almost always cools down to a comfortable temperature at night.
12. The way we can see our breath inside the house first thing on a winter's morning (We See Dead People).
13. The 2:30 am train, and how everyone makes a comment if it was late this morning (the strange thing about living so close to a train track is that trains don't bother you or wake you unless it is late.
14. That Jaz Man/Jasmine has his own room with a futon to stay in during the day.
15. How the firewood smells when it gets delivered and dumped in front of the woodshed. You can smell it in the house.
I've remembered these things fondly while I've been away. I'm reasonably sure I'm going to curse them when I get home. And I'm thinking fondly of winter because it's so frickin' hot here right now.
Things I missed from home (did I say 9 days and a wake up yet?):
1. Mowing the lawns (PGL may recall why lawns is plural) and then sitting in the yard, drinking a beer, admiring the results. The way that the neighbors refer to the patch of grass across the road, which is actually leased by a farmer but he lets the neighbors do what we want with it) as "Basiljaz's cricket pitch" because I tamed it from waist high weeds to a well manicured (well, mostly) lawn. And now I'll have to start over.
2. Chopping wood for the wood burner in winter (except in the dark, holding a flashlight between your knees because you forgot to do it in the morning).
3. Hearing the cows/sheep/horses making their respective noises in the area.
4. The way our neighbor forgets the dog's name (she hears us calling him "Jaz Man" and thinks his name is Jasmine).
5. Fritz's Weiners http://www.fritzswieners.co.nz/products.html. Spicy Bratwurst, baby. I order 30 at a time and keep them in the freezer. They taste especially good at the Showgrounds with a beer.
6. Seeing the snow on the mountains in winter.
7. Walking over to the store for dinner and not having to drive home.
8. Going to Leeston to buy a roast, which the butcher cuts to order, ties up with string and makes suggestions about how to cook it.
9. Spring lambs while they're alive. (You may know them as wrapped in shrinkwrap for $14.99 a pound - but I knew them when they "were this big"! And ALIVE). There are hundreds of them in the area (pretty much everywhere we go) in late winter, early spring and sometimes I stop on the side of the road to watch them. And every time we see them in winter, the Kiwi says "God, they are lambing so much earlier than they used to".
10. Weather reports in winter that include warning about moving stock to lower elevations.
11. No matter how hot it may get during the day, it almost always cools down to a comfortable temperature at night.
12. The way we can see our breath inside the house first thing on a winter's morning (We See Dead People).
13. The 2:30 am train, and how everyone makes a comment if it was late this morning (the strange thing about living so close to a train track is that trains don't bother you or wake you unless it is late.
14. That Jaz Man/Jasmine has his own room with a futon to stay in during the day.
15. How the firewood smells when it gets delivered and dumped in front of the woodshed. You can smell it in the house.
I've remembered these things fondly while I've been away. I'm reasonably sure I'm going to curse them when I get home. And I'm thinking fondly of winter because it's so frickin' hot here right now.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Happy New Year
Ok, bk has shamed me into doing another post with his proliferation of holiday entries. So, to please my fans in this menage a bloggers, I will make a brief re-appearance. However, don't expect any coherent thoughts.
1. Down under on the change of year.
First, it's kind of fun to be a day ahead of everybody in North America (hell, the whole Northern Hemisphere). For example, when we were in the throes of the Year 2000, I was able to report that the toaster still worked on New Years Day, before anyone in the US was able to verify. (And we were the SECOND place to welcome the Millenium - the first being a small Pacific nation (Micronesia I think) that likes to complicate things by being fifteen minutes ahead of NZ. Try Hards.) That gave me a scoop on everybody else. Call me "Cub Reporter". However, that doesn't seem to help me stay up until Midnight. Last night we were asleep by 10:30 PM. It's hell being old.
2. New Years Resolutions.
I don't make them. No sense in setting myself up for failure, I say. I will say that I am pretty happy with my life right now, although I need to do some of the basics better (exercise more, eat and drink less, etc.), but I'm not going to resolve to do them. I did take the dog for an hour's walk this morning at 7:30 am so I guess that's as good a start as I can get.
3. What I'm happy about.
We're going home to NZ in 36 days. That makes me really happy. It will be a helluva lot of work, and we are going to live without a lot of creature comforts (like a bed and a couch) for a month or so while our stuff is in transit (well, we have to buy a lot of stuff when we get back to NZ), but we will be in our own home again. The Kiwi and I have been living in the same country(ies) for ten years now (well, we are in our tenth year), and that's something to be happy about. We had two of the three kids with us for Christmas (along with assorted partners) and that was good too. I'm getting random text messages from my friends wishing me a happy New Year. It's not unbearably hot today. The Christmas Tree hasn't completely become tinder yet (we bought a dead/live one this year - first tree in two years - and it still smells like a Christmas tree).
4. Summernats.
We live a couple of blocks from what can be compared to an American fairground - you know, where they hold the county fair. They have the usual exhibition halls where on any given weekend you can go to a computer sale, or buy Oriental rugs, or Oakley sunglasses - all a greatly reduced prices. They also normally hold a farmer's market on Saturday mornings. We watch the mass migration of many octegenarians pushing their little collapsable trolleys through our neighborhood to buy their weekly fruit and veg (although I think it's more of a social event for them really). We go on the odd weekend and have a good coffee and buy some stuff, and maybe have a bacon and egg roll or sausage roll for breakfast. Anyway, on the first weekend of the new year they have an event called "Summernats" (and no, I have no idea why they call it that). Summernats is a petrol head car show, where they have burnout competitions, car shows, a big car parade through town and other events such as the "Miss Jack Daniels Competition" or something like that. Most people camp at the show grounds and this is their New Year entertainment. What it means for our neighborhood is four days of revving engines and the smell of burning rubber when the wind is going the right direction, as well as a dearth of certain products at our local supermarket, most notably, bread, eggs, bacon, beer and RTDs (do you call them RTDs? I mean cans of Jack Daniels and cola or Vodka and lemon, etc.). People in the neighborhood complain about it a lot but I think it's a point of pride to complain about it, really. There are fireworks shows every night which we can watch from our front porch (and often we can hear the bands playing at night too). Anyway, people complain a lot about Summernats (some actually plan to be out of town during the event) but I think it's kind of cool.
Happy New Year, my two readers. I hope everyone is happy both collectively and separately.
1. Down under on the change of year.
First, it's kind of fun to be a day ahead of everybody in North America (hell, the whole Northern Hemisphere). For example, when we were in the throes of the Year 2000, I was able to report that the toaster still worked on New Years Day, before anyone in the US was able to verify. (And we were the SECOND place to welcome the Millenium - the first being a small Pacific nation (Micronesia I think) that likes to complicate things by being fifteen minutes ahead of NZ. Try Hards.) That gave me a scoop on everybody else. Call me "Cub Reporter". However, that doesn't seem to help me stay up until Midnight. Last night we were asleep by 10:30 PM. It's hell being old.
2. New Years Resolutions.
I don't make them. No sense in setting myself up for failure, I say. I will say that I am pretty happy with my life right now, although I need to do some of the basics better (exercise more, eat and drink less, etc.), but I'm not going to resolve to do them. I did take the dog for an hour's walk this morning at 7:30 am so I guess that's as good a start as I can get.
3. What I'm happy about.
We're going home to NZ in 36 days. That makes me really happy. It will be a helluva lot of work, and we are going to live without a lot of creature comforts (like a bed and a couch) for a month or so while our stuff is in transit (well, we have to buy a lot of stuff when we get back to NZ), but we will be in our own home again. The Kiwi and I have been living in the same country(ies) for ten years now (well, we are in our tenth year), and that's something to be happy about. We had two of the three kids with us for Christmas (along with assorted partners) and that was good too. I'm getting random text messages from my friends wishing me a happy New Year. It's not unbearably hot today. The Christmas Tree hasn't completely become tinder yet (we bought a dead/live one this year - first tree in two years - and it still smells like a Christmas tree).
4. Summernats.
We live a couple of blocks from what can be compared to an American fairground - you know, where they hold the county fair. They have the usual exhibition halls where on any given weekend you can go to a computer sale, or buy Oriental rugs, or Oakley sunglasses - all a greatly reduced prices. They also normally hold a farmer's market on Saturday mornings. We watch the mass migration of many octegenarians pushing their little collapsable trolleys through our neighborhood to buy their weekly fruit and veg (although I think it's more of a social event for them really). We go on the odd weekend and have a good coffee and buy some stuff, and maybe have a bacon and egg roll or sausage roll for breakfast. Anyway, on the first weekend of the new year they have an event called "Summernats" (and no, I have no idea why they call it that). Summernats is a petrol head car show, where they have burnout competitions, car shows, a big car parade through town and other events such as the "Miss Jack Daniels Competition" or something like that. Most people camp at the show grounds and this is their New Year entertainment. What it means for our neighborhood is four days of revving engines and the smell of burning rubber when the wind is going the right direction, as well as a dearth of certain products at our local supermarket, most notably, bread, eggs, bacon, beer and RTDs (do you call them RTDs? I mean cans of Jack Daniels and cola or Vodka and lemon, etc.). People in the neighborhood complain about it a lot but I think it's a point of pride to complain about it, really. There are fireworks shows every night which we can watch from our front porch (and often we can hear the bands playing at night too). Anyway, people complain a lot about Summernats (some actually plan to be out of town during the event) but I think it's kind of cool.
Happy New Year, my two readers. I hope everyone is happy both collectively and separately.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Football Deconstructed
As you know, I live down under (which is easier to say than Australia and/or New Zealand, since we seem to be in a migration pattern between the two countries - much like African Swallows). Anyway, down under has several varieties of "football", a fact which most Americans remain blissfully unaware of, or think that the distinction lies in different classes of football, such as Pop Warner, High School, College, NFL, etc. No, there are really different kinds of football here. I have already rudely mini-blogged in BK's blog (sorry BK!) and felt the need to expand my thoughts (at this point you, gentle reader(s) are probably saying "OMG please NO!!!!!!!"). Too bad.
There's actually a hierarchy, a taxonomy, if you will, of football down under.
1. Gridiron or American football, which i trust I do not have to discuss at length here.
2. Soccer (or as those Europeans call it - Football) which I also won't discuss because it bores me senseless.
3. Down Under football, called Rugby. But did you know that there are actually several kinds of rugby?
Rugby Union - this is probably the most well known to people in the US. Think "All Blacks" - the $150 jerseys that you can buy in all the Duty Free Shops in New Zealand. This is the ruck, tackle, maul school of rugby, where backward lateral passes and kicking are pretty much the only way to advance the ball. The biggest games of the year involve the national sides (their terminology for teams) such as Australia (boo) and New Zealand (YAY). The guys are big, pretty much all built like Offensive Lineman (you know, those 350 pound Samoan guys that are in vogue right now) and have cauliflower ears from years of people mauling them. The game actually moves pretty slowly (although, I agree, not nearly as slowly as NFL). They don't wear padding except for some guys that wear soft helmets to keep what's left of their brains in their heads.
Rugby League - this is essentially the same type of game as Union, but they pass the ball after someone is tackled by putting it on the ground and kicking it slightly behind them into the hands of a teammate. Again, they do have similar rules to Union but seem to have more ways of moving the ball around, thus it seems to be slightly more interesting. I have to admit that I am still learning what the hell is going on most of the time. I don't understand the genesis of the terminology - for example, scoring is called a try. They already tried and were successful, so why not call it a success? Also there are different kinds of tries. (It took me years to realise that where they put the ball down in the end zone (I guess it's the try zone?) matters as that is where they have to kick the extra point from. And, an important point, the ball has to actually touch the ground, not just break the plane as it does in NFL.) Then they give something called a "penalty try" which is sort of saying "If that guy hadn't knocked you unconscious, you would have been able to score a try and therefore we shall award pity points to you". Bizzare.
AFL or Australian Rules Football (Aussie Rules) - This is a really fast paced game which is mostly kicking the ball around the OVAL, not a rectangle. Most of the teams are located in and around Melbourne and people seem to be hugely passionate about this game. It is more entertaining and more women seem to like it (a fact that I attribute mainly to the uniforms they wear, which are short shorts and sleeveless jerseys. And, because there is very little contact in this brand of football, the guys are generally better looking as their ears and faces don't get all disfigured. If you're into that sort of thing). I won my project's footy (that's what they call all brands of football here, as in "I'm going to watch the footy or the rugby - the "the" is important apparently. Oddly, instead of going to "The hospital" you go to hospital. I just don't get it.) pool this year, much to the chagrin of everyone else. They are very passionate about their teams, where as I went with picking the favorites each time. And won. They all barrack for their sides (if you say rooting for their team, as Americans do, they all snicker - because rooting here is slang for having sex). As in "Who ya barracking for, mate?"
Why this discussion about football? Because the Kiwi and I have suddenly gotten interested in it. We now always watch any football which involves NZ vs. Australia. We have become quite nationalistic in our fervor. You have to understand, the LAST thing I ever thought the Kiwi would be interested in is football of any kind, but she now screams at the TV as though her national identity is at stake (and besides, the Aussies are whiny losers which is quite entertaining). NZ won the Rubgy League World Cup last week in a huge upset over the Australians, and we've heard nothing but crying all week. "The controversial Penalty Try" - Oh, the humanity!!. Never mind that it was just a good ass whuppin' on the NZ team's part.
I might have to get me one of those t-shirts in Duty Free next time I go through which says "My favourite team is the All Blacks and whoever is playing Australia". Goodonyamate.
There's actually a hierarchy, a taxonomy, if you will, of football down under.
1. Gridiron or American football, which i trust I do not have to discuss at length here.
2. Soccer (or as those Europeans call it - Football) which I also won't discuss because it bores me senseless.
3. Down Under football, called Rugby. But did you know that there are actually several kinds of rugby?
Rugby Union - this is probably the most well known to people in the US. Think "All Blacks" - the $150 jerseys that you can buy in all the Duty Free Shops in New Zealand. This is the ruck, tackle, maul school of rugby, where backward lateral passes and kicking are pretty much the only way to advance the ball. The biggest games of the year involve the national sides (their terminology for teams) such as Australia (boo) and New Zealand (YAY). The guys are big, pretty much all built like Offensive Lineman (you know, those 350 pound Samoan guys that are in vogue right now) and have cauliflower ears from years of people mauling them. The game actually moves pretty slowly (although, I agree, not nearly as slowly as NFL). They don't wear padding except for some guys that wear soft helmets to keep what's left of their brains in their heads.
Rugby League - this is essentially the same type of game as Union, but they pass the ball after someone is tackled by putting it on the ground and kicking it slightly behind them into the hands of a teammate. Again, they do have similar rules to Union but seem to have more ways of moving the ball around, thus it seems to be slightly more interesting. I have to admit that I am still learning what the hell is going on most of the time. I don't understand the genesis of the terminology - for example, scoring is called a try. They already tried and were successful, so why not call it a success? Also there are different kinds of tries. (It took me years to realise that where they put the ball down in the end zone (I guess it's the try zone?) matters as that is where they have to kick the extra point from. And, an important point, the ball has to actually touch the ground, not just break the plane as it does in NFL.) Then they give something called a "penalty try" which is sort of saying "If that guy hadn't knocked you unconscious, you would have been able to score a try and therefore we shall award pity points to you". Bizzare.
AFL or Australian Rules Football (Aussie Rules) - This is a really fast paced game which is mostly kicking the ball around the OVAL, not a rectangle. Most of the teams are located in and around Melbourne and people seem to be hugely passionate about this game. It is more entertaining and more women seem to like it (a fact that I attribute mainly to the uniforms they wear, which are short shorts and sleeveless jerseys. And, because there is very little contact in this brand of football, the guys are generally better looking as their ears and faces don't get all disfigured. If you're into that sort of thing). I won my project's footy (that's what they call all brands of football here, as in "I'm going to watch the footy or the rugby - the "the" is important apparently. Oddly, instead of going to "The hospital" you go to hospital. I just don't get it.) pool this year, much to the chagrin of everyone else. They are very passionate about their teams, where as I went with picking the favorites each time. And won. They all barrack for their sides (if you say rooting for their team, as Americans do, they all snicker - because rooting here is slang for having sex). As in "Who ya barracking for, mate?"
Why this discussion about football? Because the Kiwi and I have suddenly gotten interested in it. We now always watch any football which involves NZ vs. Australia. We have become quite nationalistic in our fervor. You have to understand, the LAST thing I ever thought the Kiwi would be interested in is football of any kind, but she now screams at the TV as though her national identity is at stake (and besides, the Aussies are whiny losers which is quite entertaining). NZ won the Rubgy League World Cup last week in a huge upset over the Australians, and we've heard nothing but crying all week. "The controversial Penalty Try" - Oh, the humanity!!. Never mind that it was just a good ass whuppin' on the NZ team's part.
I might have to get me one of those t-shirts in Duty Free next time I go through which says "My favourite team is the All Blacks and whoever is playing Australia". Goodonyamate.
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